Most of us live inside invisible boxes we’ve built for ourselves.
“I’m not good with money.”
“I’m not a morning person.”
“I’m not strong.”
“I’m not handy.”
For years, my box was: I’m not handy.
I’m the guy who writes software, plays video games, and spends way too much time looking at spreadsheets. Anytime something broke, I paid someone else to fix it. That was the story I told myself.
But last week, I decided to try something different: I replaced the alternator in my car.
Now, if you’re a mechanic this probably sounds like no big deal. But for me, it was way outside my comfort zone. There was a moment where I was stuck and I was frustrated, ready to give up.
But eventually it came together. The car ran. And in that moment, I realized something important:
It wasn’t just about saving money.
It was about proving to myself that I could do it.
The Labels We Outgrow
This wasn’t the first time I bumped into one of these “I’m not that person” stories.
Fitness: For years, I told myself “I’m not a runner.” But then I trained for and ran a half marathon. Clearly, I was wrong. The only thing holding me back was the story.
Money: When I started budgeting, I got pushback. Friends would say, “You make good money, you can eat at this fancy restaurant with us,” or “Jake can pay.” It was tough to say no, but I knew I needed to take control of my finances.
Career: I started my career as “the engineer.” Later, I moved into management. Then into business development and sales. That shift from “software guy” to “business guy” felt impossible at first, but over time, I grew into it.
In every case, I learned the same lesson: identity isn’t fixed. You can outgrow old labels.
The Pushback Problem
Here’s the part nobody tells you: when you start showing up differently, people around you often don’t believe it.
“You’re not drinking anymore? Sure.”
“You’re going to the gym every day? I’ve heard that one before.”
“You don’t want to go out to dinner? Lame.”
At first, they doubt you. But if you keep showing up, consistency wins. Eventually the world catches up to the new version of you (but it takes awhile).
And your real friends? They’ll support you, even if it means sitting in lawn chairs on the porch instead of blowing $100 at brunch.
The Pattern
I’ve noticed a simple pattern in all these changes:
Decide. Pick the new identity.
Act. Do one thing that proves it.
Repeat. Each action reinforces the new story.
Recognition. Eventually, others start to see you that way too.
That’s how change actually happens. It’s not in some lightning bolt moment, but in small daily choices stacked on top of each other.
Today’s Challenge
Here’s what I want you to remember:
You get to pick who you are today. Yesterday doesn’t define you.
So think about it: what’s one label you’ve been hiding behind?
“I’m not good with money.”
“I’m not fit.”
“I’m not creative.”
Decide today to drop that story. Do one action that proves it. Then show up again tomorrow.
Change doesn’t come from inspiration.
It comes from choosing who you want to be and proving it with your actions.
—Jake